Cardi B Doesn’t Miss Offset But She Does Miss His D

We were pretty depressed when our favourite mom and dad, Cardi B and Offset, broke up. Then, we quickly got over it when we learned of Offset’s cheating ways, and saw how he tried to take over Cardi B’s recent Rolling Loud performance and win her back (read: steal her spotlight). For those of you who haven’t seen the footage, Offset crashed Cardi’s recent performance, jumping onstage between two tracks with a cake and 15k worth of red and white roses to tell his estranged wife: “I just want to tell you I’m sorry, bruh.”

How… romantic…

Of course, Cardi was NOT having it (neither is the rest of the world, with everyone, including the New York Times, sharing think pieces about their toxic romance) and shared some private words with her hub onstage before he left, defeated. Later, she took to Instagram (as she always does) to weigh in on the charade, saying simply, that was she tired of the drama.

Since then, Offset said he didn’t regret the gesture, then he did… Who knows? Cardi for her part, didn’t like the move, and doesn’t miss Offset, but she does miss his big ol’ dick.

During an Instagram Live video, the “Bodak Yellow” rapper said, “Oh my god, oh my god, my gag reflexes are leaving ’cause I haven’t sucked dick in such a long time,” she joked. “I miss the D. I’m ’boutta relapse and call this n****,” adding, “I want it. In my throat. Inside of me. Demolishing me. Destroying me — oh shit, I need more coffee.”

Giiiiiirl. We get it. Cardi loves Offset’s dick.