This Timothée Chalamet Doll Is Giving Everyone Nightmares

The internet is weird. Things happen, people make videos of Keanu Reeves walking to music, and suddenly they’re viral. But today’s bizarre internet phenomenon takes the cake, and involves a creepy ventriloquist dummy of none other than Timothée Chalamet. What a world.

Of course, this story begins where all internet horrors do: eBay. Some angel decided to handcraft a Timothée Chalamet dummy and an even bigger angel found it, and posted it on Twitter. Naturally, everyone went nuts and started sharing their reactions to the doll (see: the creeps).

But what’s even crazier about this story is, the Timothée Chalamet doll is not a joke. It’s being auctioned for $122,795. Not joking. I mean, it is a “One Of A Kind Timothée Chalamet Ventriloquist Figure With Louis Vuitton Harness,” but still. And to top it off, the seller believes they’re giving everyone a deal. At the end of a poetically written description about the figure, they write (in bold, obvs): “Sorry, due to the very low price on this, stand is not included.”

That’s right, you’ll get your own One Of A Kind Timothée Chalamet Ventriloquist Figure With Louis Vuitton Harness (a tiny replica of the actual Louis Vuitton Harness the IRL Timothée Chalamet wore to the Golden Globes), but you’ve GOTTA get your own stand.

After all, we can’t do everything for you.