74-Year-Old Grandmother Reviews LFW
Wait ? that's a mask? Oh, for goodness sake? I don't think I could wear my glasses with that.
My nana, Evelyn Spencer, is a very practical woman. She grew up on a farm in Queensland, Australia, has volunteered for Meals On Wheels for longer than anyone in our family can remember, and counts gardening, cooking, and country music amongst her interests. Who better to review the FW12 collections shown at London Fashion Week? I showed her a look from eleven designers' presentations and asked her to share her thoughts on them. Move over Tim Blanks ? there's a new sheriff at the fashion police department, and she's not changing her slacks for no one.
Giles (above)
"Oooh! I like the hat! Wait ? that's a mask? That's the front of her? Oh, for goodness sake? I don't think I could wear my glasses with that. Hmmm? I don't really appreciate that at all. It's probably something I could wear to bed. The colour is nice though. It's not as blue as that Jonathan Saunders suit (see below). If she didn't have that thing on her head, I might like that outfit."
McQ
"Oh for goodness sake! That's her hair? It's very different. The dress is nice. It's something I'd say you could wear to a high school formal or a ball, but it's not something I could wear shopping. [She laughs] That's not her hair, is it? Well, if that's her hair, she must have had a damn good hairdresser. Leah [her granddaughter] would probably wear that."
Moschino Cheap & Chic
"I think it's pretty classy stuff. I do looove that top, Zac. And those are nice slacks. I don't think it's my cup of tea though. You know, I'm an old woman of 74! It's definitely for a younger person. The colours are just lovely."
Mark Fast
"Hmm? It's a bit short. It's not something I could wear in the garden. I don't think it's something I could wear to Woolworths either. I'd prefer a good pair of slacks. It'd probably look very smart on someone with the right figure. Are those cutaways? Is that her tummy I can see? No, no. It's not my cup of tea. Maybe if she buttoned her jacket up. But I must admit, it would look nice on a young person with a beautiful figure, like Hayley or Sophie [her granddaughters]."
Jonathan Saunders
"Hmm? It's probably quite nice, but I don't like the shade of blue. I'm not fussed on the colour at all. I'm not sure why ? perhaps it's because he teamed that orange blouse and the green jacket with it. I'd like it if it was in black. There you are! Put it that way. I wear so much black these days. But I reckon it'd look nice in red. I can't stand green ? it's not my colour I'm afraid. I've got two green blouses that I've never worn. But that'd look nice in red, with a good pair of legs of course."
Christopher Kane
"That. Is. Nice. It's beautiful ? very stylish. Is it see-through? I thought it was very stylish before I realized it might be see-through. You'd have to wear a nice pair of knickers with it, wouldn't you? Well, I guess that depends on what sort of a place you're wearing it. I'd like to see the real thing before I pass judgment. It's a lovely colour, and a lovely design, though."
Meadham Kirchoff
"What say we forget this one?"
Mary Katrantzou
"I do not mind the top part of this outfit, but it's the bottom part that I don't have much time for. From the waist up, it's quite a nice dress."
Thomas Tait
"Now, you would look good in that outfit, Zac! I think it's more 'boy' than 'girl'. It's nice, and it's a bit more my style than some of these other outfits. Actually, I could wear that. The brown and the yellow go quite nicely together. I looove the hat. It's cool, isn't it?"
House of Holland
"Are those ostrich feathers? The colours are nice. It's a shame about the legs. They're a little bit too skinny."
Richard Nicoll
"Now that is very stylish. I really like that. Basically, I like slacks, and that is really, really nice. I like the whole thing. For somebody tall and slim, like Sam or Casey [granddaughters], it'd look very nice. You'd have to wear nice heels ? it'd be no good wearing gym boots with it. This is my favourite. These designers have put a hell of a lot of work into these outfits, and I take my hat off to them.
PS Love you Nan! Thank you!
Words: Zac Bayly and Evelyn Spencer
Ingrid Kesa
