Feb 17, 2011 12:00AM

A Cyrus Crisis!

Alert! Billy Ray Cyrus is in trouble!

Billy Ray and Miley in happier times.

Stop everyone! There's a Cyrus crisis on our hands. Poor Billy Ray. Or poor Miley? We're not sure, maybe both. In a recent interview with GQ, Billy publicly admitted he's concerned for the safety of his daughter, Miley. Could it be the pressure of Hollywood? A love-crisis? A Linday-esque gaol experience? Nope. It's Satan, and he's attacking their family.

When the Cyrus family first came to Hollywood, they drove past a sign every day that said:
 

ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

ATHEISTS UNITED

As Billy said, it was "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"

If Billy remembered his own words from 1992 ("Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart") he might recall also saying "I just don't think you'd understand". Correct, Billy – you lost us a while ago. I think what's more poignant than Satan's intrusion into Billy's life is the invasion of the media into celebrity lives, and just how difficult it actually must be to cope with this. So, sorry for dissing on you Billy, you do have some of my sympathy. But this got me thinking about the whole notion of celebrity lives – and despite my childhood dream to be famous (for a talent I'm yet to discover) it seems like the downside outweighs the positives.

The clincher, though, is Billy's use of social media to address his reaction to the Miley/Salvia scandal. Tweeting his disappointment speech, "Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now", is just too much. The day my dad knows what a 'tweet' is (aside from a birdcall, of course) will be the day I join the recorder section of the Australian Symphony Orchestra. But wait, it gets better. Billy's previous tweet read, "Oh wow ! I'm so excited !!! I tweeted follow Jesus and He showed up !!! I didn't know He was on twitter!!!"

Thanks for the laughs, Billy.

Airlie Winter-Irving

News & Features

adidas Originals x Topshop x Gadir

Plus, see the collaboration video.


Oyster Fashion: 'Chloe' Shot by Brydie Mack

The My Chameleon aesthetic.


Watch: MØ 'My Home Town'

Featuring blanket forts!


Social Snaps: Heaps Gay

Having a gay old time.


NFL Wants $16 Million From MIA Now

All because of that Super Bowl finger.


Listen: Sia 'Chandelier'

Pretty cool accident.


Terry Richardson's Open Letter

Denies abuse allegations based on "lies" and "rumours."


RIP: L'Wren Scott

Designer found dead after apparent suicide.


RIP: The Stooge's Scott Asheton

Founding member dies at 64.


Stream: Jhené Aiko 'My Afternoon Dream'

Released on her birthday and v good.


Watch: 'The Two Faces Of January' Trailer

Kirsten Dunst + Viggo Mortensen.


Interview: Jean Gritsfeldt @ Ukrainian Fashion Week

Plus backstage at his 'The Virginity' collection show.


Miley Cyrus x Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne

Covering 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.'


Newman's Death Hoax

Wayne Knight; not actually dead.


Tyler, The Creator Arrested @ SXSW

For reportedly starting a riot.


Billie Whitehouse x SXSW

A photo diary from the We:eX founder.


Win — Isabella Rossellini: Green Porno

Plus, see her best animal looks.


Bill Cunningham's Vintage New York

Taken in the 60s using historic outfits.


Watch: Behind The Scenes on Beyonce’s 'Partition'

Plus, grandmas discuss 'Drunk In Love' lyrics.


Watch: St Vincent Interview

An Oyster exclusive.