one sentence wonders
A one sentence reviews of every band I saw at Splendour.
Jinja Safari ? Brand new boys with a performance as tight as a nun's you-know-what, these kids will go places fast and sound good doing it.
School of Seven Bells ? Pretty band, pretty music, pretty boring outside the lounge room.
British India ? Remember when these babies were so New York? Well I like them better now they're kinda punk rawk.
Foals ? So much energy, talent and showmanship from the band, so much enthusiasm and ecstasy from the crowd that every song felt like the closer and I still wished it wouldn't end.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club ? Like the hottest, roughest, drunkest, dirtiest sex you've ever had, but you could smoke cigarettes during as well as after.
Grizzly Bear ? More fizzle than grizzle, these teddies are great in the comfort of your own home, but they put us into hibernation live.
Scissor Sisters - Sure, plenty of people would have enjoyed seeing that naughty flash of Jake Shears' butt, but they're probably the kind of people that like his music too.
Gypsy and the Cat ? Sometimes when you mix a bunch of really good things from the seventies and eighties in a way that's really familiar the result is? actually still really good.
Band of Skulls ? Good old-fashioned rock and roll makes the perfect sunbaking music.
Tame Impala ? Australia's next big export: guitar music that gets girls dancing from boys who look like they're still in high school.
Wolfmother ? Your street cred is the opposite of a fairy, if you believe this band are cool even for a second, it'll die.
Florence and the Machine ? A gossamer spirit has emerged from the mists of Avalon to form a rock band and perform for us, how lucky are we?
The Strokes ? Is This It was playing when I lost my virginity, this gig was kind of like that, except this time I actually climaxed.
Cloud Control ? The perfect sound for a Sunday afternoon, on record and on stage.
We Are Scientists ? We Are Scientists are a super fun band, so it's a shame they hired a mud creature with no ears to mix their sound.
Broken Social Scene ? I danced, I cried and then I danced again ? the fact their hometown nickname is Canadiohead makes me want to move to Toronto.
Goldfrapp ? If Kylie Minogue is CocoCola, Alison Goldfrapp is the undiluted syrup that makes it taste so good.
The Pixies ? It's the mother fucking Pixies, how do you think they were?
Photography: Pat @ Hobo
Words: Alyx Gorman
Oystermag
