Suri's Burn Book
Suri Cruise does not like Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (but she does like custom-made Marc Jacobs kitten heels).
Whether you coo or squeam at pint-sized fashionistas and their mini-me designer threads, you've got to give it to Suri Cruise: accumulating a $2 million wardrobe by the age of five is no easy feat. Stylish celebrity offspring are by no means a rare breed - Madge and daughter Lourdes often appear as matching material girls, and Gwen Stefani's son Kingston is clearly taking sartorial tips from his mum's No Doubt days - but Suri's wardrobe is something else.
Apparently so extensive that it's spilling into the Cruise's guest room, it includes a custom-made pair of Marc Jacobs kitten heels, and a miniature version of her mum's arm candy - a $1,295 Dolce & Gabbana Miss Sicily bag. Suri also has a well-developed (and indulged) penchant for Burberry coats and Roger Vivier pumps, and is not one to shy away from wearing lipstick in public.
According to mum Katie Cruise, Suri is "magical" when it comes to clothes. She told Marie Claire UK that Suri's "been choosing her own outfits since she was two. We go to fabric stores and sew together. Suri is my style critic. I know I look good when Suri asks if she can have my outfit when she's older." Suri's famous father, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, described his daughter as "a strong-willed little girl" with "great taste."
But it isn't just her parents' rose coloured glasses deeming her a style icon. In Glamour Magazine's annual poll, Suri Cruise was voted the world's 21st best-dressed woman. The political (in)correctness of a five-year old being labeled a "woman" will not be discussed here - the important thing is that this puts Suri ahead of the Beckhams' middle son, eight-year-old Romeo, who was ranked number 26 on the GQ Magazine best-dressed list.
Poor Victoria really needed a little girl to win the battle of the overdressed tots - and now that Harper Seven's escaped the womb, Suri's on the defence.
In fact, for a five-year-old, Suri has a lot of insecurities (her street cred being undermined by Katie wearing jeggings; Jay Z and Beyonce's baby to-be being fashion-forward, wealthy and beautiful; not having a yacht) and gripes (Shiloh Jolie-Pitt).
Suri's Burn Book combines Mean Girls-inspired bitchiness and celebrity-related rants in an amazing tumblr. Photos of fellow famous children are posted alongside running commentary provided by the titular 'Suri', with scathing remarks directed at everyone from Violet Affleck to Natalie Portman's newly-born Aleph Millepied. Hollywood and your children, look out.
