Weekend Review — 20 Worst Hipster Bands, Lana Del Rey for Jaguar, Flaming Lips Replace Erykah Badu Clip, Orgasmic Literature & More
Includes Ariel Pink's polygamist fantasy and the birth of mini-Snooki.
While you were off marrying the night this weekend and making terrible/excellent life decisions, we were hanging ten on the world wide web (cowabunga) and putting together this round-up of the most notable news.
The LA Weekly has compiled a list of the 20 Worst Hipster Bands. Bearded acoustic heartfelt sobbing bros Bon Iver topped the list, only just beating the annoyingly-named tUnE-yArDs. Montreal-based seven-piece Arcade Fire came in at a smooth third (emphasis on 'Montreal-based seven-piece').
Also on the list were everyone's favourite band for curling up in the fetal position and rocking back and forth, Bright Eyes, and unofficial spokespeople for guyliner, MGMT. Here's the complete countdown:
20. The Black Keys
19. TV On The Radio
18. Sleigh Bells
15. Death Cab For Cutie
13. The Decemberists
11. Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros
10. White Rabbits
9. Beach House
8. The Airborne Toxic Event
7. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
5. Grizzly Bear
4. Bright Eyes
3. Arcade Fire
1. Bon Iver
Even though Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti is on LA Weekly's list of the worst hipster bands, we actually think he's pretty great. Ariel released his latest 'Only In My Dreams' video on Friday and it is basically a reenactment of a polygamist fantasy. Why the hell not. In the VHS-style video, his ex-girlfriend of eight years, Geneva Jacuzzi, plays his main romantic interest.
Speaking with Spin, Ariel, in true Ariel style, rolls off some very believable conspiracy theories about this whole unito caro, one man, one woman stuff. "I have a theory: I believe that with the advent of the United States and the lawful definition of marriage, it was defined as between one man and one woman. It was anti-polygamy, in effect saying no man can hoard his women. That was a way to maximize the libido of men, to create productive units by saying, 'if an American man plays their cards right, they can have their very own pussy waiting for them at home.' They wouldn't have to compete with the more powerful."
Following Erykah Badu and The Flaming Lips' very public fight over the NSFW video for their song 'The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face' (Erykah did not know it would be so NSFW), a new version has been released featuring Amanda Palmer of The Dresden Dolls. She lends her vocals to the track, and her naked body to the video.
Meanwhile, Flight of The Conchords have proven themselves to be Nice Guys by helping to raise $1.3 million for children suffering from life-threatening illnesses. The song 'Feel Inside (And Stuff Like That)' was inspired by real life kids being cute. It may even bring a small pang of emotion to that impenetrable black heart of yours.
Following news that Justin Bieber will make a guest appearance on The Simpsons, now with added emphysema, the gravelly-voiced Tom Waits is also set to join the cast for one episode. He won't sing but he will play a survivalist. "We did a lot of research into the 'prepper' phenomenon, where people are convinced that some horrible catastrophe — like an electromagnetic pulse – is going to occur, and that people will have to survive without the grid ... Homer becomes a prepper" says producer Al Jean to TV Line.
Unrelated to all of the above and pretty much everything else ever, computer geek porn star Stoya reads verses from a book about being sexually attracted to corpses whilst having an orgasm. Before you start tugging on your collar — it's ART, OK GUYS? The video is part of photographer Clayton Cubitt's 'Hysterial Literature' series, which is about demonstrating the power of words on the human psyche via a visceral and animalistic act (we totally just made that last part up, but it sounds semi-legit, right?).
Lana Del Rey is now fronting the campaign for the new Jaguar F-Type two-seater sports car. In the two campaign images that have been released thus far there is a distinct lack of automobile. In one (at the top of this post) Lana looks like an angry girlfriend emerging from a swimming pool (can't you just imagine her saying, "We need to talk!"). In the other (below) she just looks kind of scared on some outdoor furniture.
And before you leave and get on with your working week, know that the apocalypse is nigh. Snooki has finally spawned her first born. Doctors have not yet confirmed whether the male infant, who goes by the name Lorenzo, was born wearing any Ed Hardy paraphernalia.