You Can Now Buy A Girlfriend On Facebook
What even is life?
In what is further proof that the internet is the greatest invention in the history of the universe, you can now buy a fake girlfriend on Facebook. For anyone who enjoys being told they're ruling at life but doesn't enjoy human contact, a virtual relationship could be viable. Or perhaps you'd like to inspire jealousy in an ex or lust in a potential suitor. Or maybe you are just hideously unattractive, have no soul and wear open-toed shoes in public (men, if you are not even mildly ashamed of revealing your toes to a mass audience then there is probably something wrong with you). Whatever the motive, there are a plethora of sites offering digital, no-strings-attached love.
Girlfriendhire.com is one such site. For the measly fee of $5, you can hire a foreign girlfriend who will change her relationship status to proudly proclaim she's the Bonnie to your Clyde, a 'stalker' girlfriend who will demand to know why your status still says single ("nothing makes you look more desirable than having someone who's obsessed with you"), or a 'pics or it didn't happen' girlfriend who will make you a personalised video. Other girlfriends offer services like allowing you to publicly end the relationship, posting comments in exotic languages and sending flirtatious messages to your inbox.
The services offered by these cyber girlfriends aren't just limited to Facebook — you can also pay to have girls Tweet you sweet nothings and spam your Google+ with declarations of desire. You can even have them sext your cell phone. Fakegirlfriend.co, for example, exclusively offers an SMS service, in which the customer can craft their very own "personalised girlfriend-esque responses." Ricky Robinett, the site's 28-year-old founder, told Salon that he created it after asking himself, "what's the stupidest thing I can build?"
But while their comments, Tweets and texts may be fake, the girls behind the avatars and xoxo's are real (although, as we have learnt from the recent Manti Te'o facepalm, you can never really tell who you're talking to unless they're in front of you). Salon spoke to one of the girls on Girlfriendhire.com who said, "I work 60 hours a week at two jobs to pay my student loans and I still don't earn enough to pay the minimums. So one day I googled 'simple way to earn money' and after thumbing through a lot of pages, a lot about medical studies, I found the site," adding, "I have a boyfriend but I don't tell the guys that."